So, here’s my tale of trying (and so far failing) to get Internet access on at my new apartment.

(with apologies to Dreamhost for nicking their headline AND public domain photo)

December 13th: I get the word from the real estate agent that I’ve got the unit. Immediately sign up on the iiNet website for Naked DSL.

December 19th: iiNet respond to my application with the message “Service Address Not Found”.  I contact iiNet and ask what that means, turns out they need a phone number.

December 21-22nd: I move in.

December 24th: I finally go back to my apartment, plug in a phone and find out the number. I give that to iiNet, they re-submit.

December 28th: I get an email from iiNet with “Service Address Not Found” again. I call, they do some quick tests - the number doesn’t show up in their access to Telstra’s provisioning systems.
I call Telstra to get the phone connected, it’ll take several days because as it turns out, it’s on the Optus cable network. Appointment made for January 4th.

January 4th: No Telstra guy.

January 8th: I get a call from a Telstra guy: “Umm,I’m at the premesis now…” me: “Well, you wern’t 4 days ago when I was there…”

January 9th: Telstra call back to reschedule, and say has to be all day. I ask for Saturday timeslot if that’s the case, sure - January 19th. Ugh.

January 19th: Line connected. But after the Tech leaves, I find out the line is a Silent line, and 12722123 to find out my number doesn’t work.

January 21st and 22nd: Too busy at work to call Telstra before their Sales centres close at 5pm.

January 23rd: Call Telstra, get my line number. Go sign up again at iiNet.

January 30th: Email from iiNet: DSL Connection will be on Feb 5th, but I don’t need to be home (because provisioned line).

Feb 5th: No line sync. iiNet connection email says might take a few more days.

Feb 7th: Still no line sync. Call iiNet, on hold for ~30mins (on my mobile) - Guy says it looks like my entire DSLAM is down. But, (good news for me) they work on Saturdays (9th)- so, give a call then or Monday.

Feb 9th: (Still no line sync) Call iiNet, on hold for another 30mins, guy says Telstra have to fix it, and they don’t work on weekends, but should know more Monday (11th)

Feb 11th: (Still no line sync) Call iiNet, on hold for ~45mins. Guy says they’ve added my name to a list to send to Visionstream, and they’ll call to let me know when it’ll be fixed.

Today (Feb 13th): Visionstream calls me at about 10 am  -

VS: “We’re calling to make an appointment for your ADSL Installation”
me: “err.. don’t you mean fault repair?”
VS: “Oh, I don’t know… So, will Friday (15th) be ok?”
me: “Uhm, What time?” 
VS: “You’ll have to be there All day”
me: “Oh, no, that’s really not possible, any chance for a shorter time period?”
VS: “No, sorry - you can leave a key with a friend family member and they can be there instead”
Me: “Err, no, I really can’t.”
VS: “Okay, well, we’ll send this back to iiNet then”
Me: “Fine, I’ll call them” 

I call iiNet, left on hold for 45mins.  I explain the situation,

“Well, you’ll have to be home then”
me: “But I understood the issue to be with your DSLAM, not with my line - everyone else on the exchange was down”.
“No, that’s been rectified, you’ll have to be at home for them to fix the issue”.
me: “Well, that’s just not an option for me at the moment.”
“Let me talk to a senior, see what we can do”
Me: “okay”
(5mins hold)
“We’ll try rebuilding the port, but, that might not help”

I get home tonight, and, well… they’re right, it didn’t help.

So, ~3hrs in total of calls on my mobile, and I’m still no closer to having proper internet access on. I’ve sent a ’support form’ in telling them that if they can’t narrow down the appointment timeslot to 3-4 hours, then just to cancel my account.

I suppose if they go ahead and cancel, I’ll be able to get the line reconnected (and if necessary, do it on a Saturday), then I’ll get normal ADSL2+ with someone else. Which has far less chance of f’cking up.

Seriously sucks.

Addendum: I’m not blaming iiNet that they can’t fix something when I’m not home - I’m just saying that the whole process of getting internet access is a disaster. It’s now over 2 months, for something that should have been fairly simple.  If the Telcos stopped playing bullshit politics, we’d all be in a much better situation.